CNY Inspirations: Tears over fears

This feature is coordinated by The Post-Standard/Syracuse.com and InterFaith Works of CNY. Follow this theme and author posted Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday.
“Find your passions,” they all said. Huh? All my life, I never knew what I wanted to be when I grew up. I loved people – that’s all I knew. Good start, because they tend to be at every job, but I needed specifics. It would be decades until I found it.
If you too, aren’t sure what you’re passionate about – listen to your body. My mind couldn’t figure it out, but my heart knew the whole time and the signs were there.
One day in 2008, when I saw my favorite childhood author Judy Blume speak, I shook with excitement. I sobbed in the bathroom afterward and on the walk home. Why was I sobbing when I was not sad? A decade later, I would go attend another event to hear a favorite author speak. I got the same reaction on my drive home. Sobbing. Even though I loved it, the tears would not stop.
Growing up, I’d get so confused seeing my dad wipe his eyes on the couch. “Mom, why is dad crying at the McDonald’s commercial?” “He has a big heart, Tara. Sometimes tears come out.”
I didn’t get it – tears just meant sad, right? After years of wanting but never knowing, I am finally fulfilling my passion as I finish my 40’s. Now that I’ve started to share my writing, I know what those tears were trying to tell me. They were trying to say – “This is what you want to do.”
If only a guidance counselor had told me this, my resume would be many fewer pages. But that’s life, right? I just don’t want you to wait as long as I did. If you feel it in your heart, or maybe it makes you feel angry or sad that you aren’t doing the same thing others are up to. There is a reason you care. Your passion will find you. Promise.
Tara Slater works at Syracuse University and the Reformed Church of Syracuse. Besides her family, two of her favorite people are Oprah Winfrey and Snoop Dogg and she is working hard on becoming a snowbird. She is rooting for you to try something new.